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you know how they say things that happen 

are supposed to happen?

the notion of predetermined destinies is

pretty appealing but frightening as well 

because that means some body knew I was destined

to be this messed up and did not consider giving me

a fair warning to plan ahead

..to be prepared..

 

so I’m left to fend for myself;

I tell you this with utter sincerity,

my heart feels like a huge flower where roots keep flourishing out

but the petals keep falling

and falling..

and falling continuously..

i’m always left to mourn

 

the appealing part of this is that,

yes I’m losing my head and sanity is rolling right

off my body as the tears strolling for a ride

to be absorbed by the pillows I lay my head on;

however, if anything has felt so comforting in terms of

things that were destined to happen, it is the massive

meaning and importance that you so firmly hold to me

 

I have no shame in vocally making it known that I prefer you over me

because this was all meant to be

these feelings, these emotions

you make everything make sense

and without you I feel so irrational and insane

I’m trying to help myself be put together once again but you left

a crater in me like a meteorite would to earth

 

so I wonder why I’m asked why I’m willingly allowing myself

to be driven down this road of madness when it is

perfectly logical for this to occur once another

flesh becomes more important than your own

 

and you, my love, I’ve had the weight of your bare body on

me before and at every blink that my eyes do, I am placed

right back into those moments

and I never complained until you removed yourself

but when you remove yourself in the visions I have whilst

I am blinking

the second that you do

and I open my eyes it is like pulling twice the number of

stubborn band-aids from my sensitive skin

and I’m always left aching

to fend for myself..

to mourn..

over my petals on the ground

and my pained skin

sincerely, jdm.